This evening as m'boys & I left a great Pre-K open house (tomorrow is the 1st day of Pre-K for {Bug}) I decided to drive by the park where he will be playing soccer. This will be his first year playing and it starts this weekend. I wanted to show him and keep the excitement up on our way home.
As I pulled up to the park I thought it was I noticed that I was at the wrong park, so I made a U-ee in the parking lot. I was about to pull out onto the road again when I noticed the vehicle behind me. I didn't realize there was anyone following me, but there he was... white vehicle with authoritative lettering and decals on his shiny SUV with pretty sparkling red and blue lights just a flashing away on top... !!!!!
DANG IT!
So I roll down the window,
"Hello Officer." (notice I said "Officer" not "officer". Special emphasis on the capitalization of the O. Believe me it sounds different when you say it with out.)
"Do you have your drivers license?"
"Yes Sir." I hand it too him.
"Can I see your registration & proof of insurance"
"Umm... I can't seem to get the glove compartment open... it's my brothers car. Let me see if I can get him on the phone... no luck."
"Do you have any tickets on your record"
"No, Officer, I don't."
....
....
...........
"Was I speeding Officer?" Really at this point I thought that maybe I had forgot to use my signal or something stupid like that. I really didn't think that I had been speeding at all.
"Do you know how fast you were going?"
"No Sir."
"Do you know what the speed limit is on this road?"
"No, I don't"
"I clocked you going 43 in a 30."
"Oh."
At this point another woman took over in my car, because it wasn't me at that point that called upon the authority figures sense of compassion with deep concern in my eyes...
"Officer, are you going to give me a ticket"
"We'll see what shows up when I go plug this in." He walks off to his high in the sky official vehicle.
*puke*
At this point I took over again & I called my BF. "Hey, officer Jon Doe (name changed to protect the unjust) just pulled me over."
"Did you tell him that you are my GF?"
"No, but I will if he tries to ticket me. Oh, wait here he is..."
Just then my jaw dropped cause I saw what was in his hand just under my drivers license. That is when that other woman took over again, cause it wasn't me that started telling this guy that he has made a mistake and maybe he doesn't recognize me, but I'm {Twinkie's} GF, so go ahead and rip that up and I'll forget about the whole thing.
No other response from him except for, "Ok, why don't you go ahead and hang up with him & I'll explain how this works."
:O
Basically, he made the ticket for only 9 over the speed limit (informing me that that will cost me about $90, WHY THE HECK DIDN'T I TAKE MY KIDS TO LAGOON THIS SUMMER, CAUSE THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT IT WOULD HAVE COST!!! I'll tell you why... Cause. I. Don't. Have. $90. Laying. Around!!!) As he is explaining this to me my voice is wavering and getting higher & higher in pitch, trying to control my emotions while kissing butt the entire time... "Thank you Officer. Ok. Yeah. I understand. Ok. Thank you." At the very end there this other woman asks him, (cause it wasn't me I swear) "Oh, Officer can you tell me where such & such park is?"
Huh? WTH!!!
*dry heave*
So as he gets back into his vehicle I notice that there were actually two, count 'em, 1, 2, TWO BLOODY OFFICERS HAD ME PULLED OVER IN TWO SEPARATE VEHICLES!!! What am I? A drug dealer? A murderer on the run???
So, I call {Twinkie} back to let him know that his copper friend is a weenie. At that point I must have blacked out cause it wasn't me that started bawling as soon as I heard him say "Hi Honey" with all the sympathy in the world for me. No, it wasn't me that could barely speak and when doing so having it come out like "Bbbbheee t t t t ticketedddd mmmmmeeee!"
And a whole lot of other stuff that just made {Twinkie} say "Huh?" "What did you say?" "I can't understand you honey." "It's gonna be ok." "Don't cry hon." All the while m'boys are in the back seat saying "Why are you crying mommy?" (Oh, just in case you're wondering, yes I did pull over to cry. I wasn't inflicting danger to me & my children while driving thru my tears.)
I had to inform him that it really wasn't me, but it was the PMS that was doing this. I'm an adult. Not some high schooler that can't handle getting a ticket and taking responsibility for it. GRRR!! Ya know what? My record has been clean for the past 8 years. 8 YEARS without a ticket on my record! BLAST YOU OFFICER!!! Thanks a whole lot for ruining MY record!!! Oh and for taking $90 out of my broke wallet to spend on your impressive fireworks display next Independence Day. What a BIG man you are!!
*sniff, sniff, tear*
Ok, I know it's not Monday, but this couldn't wait till Monday. By Monday I may be over it and then there would be nothing to post on my blog.
